Warning: This Post Is Dark. (But trust me, I’m not from the DC universe :D)
Read another one of my posts for the regular happy stuff 🙂
I know that this one is dark but I am still writing on the topic because it is necessary.
The number of women and men who have been mentally abused by narcissists and Psychopaths are increasing rapidly.
There are so many blogs created by people who are victims of it and are trying so hard to heal by sharing their experiences with the world.
It may take several years to come out of ashes for the victim of a psychopath.
The worst thing about it is that a narcissist takes time to fully get his or her victim insane and all that while the victim doesn’t even realize that they are being manipulated and abused.
This list can help a person identify whether they are being manipulated by a narcissist.
They Made You Believe That They Are A Great Catch
Okay, so you have met this person and they think they’re awesome. They sing of their own glory and tell the tales of their own chronicles.
“Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven sin” – Taylor Swift (Blank Space)
But they are really very nice to you initially (otherwise why would you be with them?)
With repetition, your subconscious mind will start believing you are so lucky to find them. But that is just an illusion! a trick to make you think what you are thinking! So after this step, you have officially cleared level one of all the levels to your own peril.
You Fall Into a dark well of Vulnerability
You probably think you are falling in love because they are just perfect for you. This person is your dream that came true.
But just how everything gets red and rosy, the colour of your rose will intensify to the point where it turns black.
You will start feeling vulnerable to the extent that the relationship will become your comfort zone and losing them will become your greatest fear. This is the exact premise on which the narcissist will abuse you for the rest of your relationship.
“Cherry lips, crystal skies
I could show you incredible things
Stolen kisses, pretty lies
You’re the king baby I’m your Queen
Find out what you want
Be that girl for a month
Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no
Screaming, crying, perfect storm
I can make all the tables turn
Rose gardens filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
“Oh my God, who is she?”
I get drunk on jealousy
But you’ll come back each time you leave
‘Cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” – Taylor Swift (Blank Space)
They Destroy Your Social Life
Now that the narcissist has hijacked your mental and emotional system, they invade your social life first. So that you have nobody left to save you from them.
They get jealous of almost everyone of the opposite sex you know, even if you talk to those people strictly in professional capacity. Your entire group of colleagues or friends might me going for a field trip or a vacation together. But you know you have cleared level 3 when you make up an excuse because you don’t want a scene with your psycho lover later.
They Sabotage Your Self Esteem
“You walk funny. You eat so much. You don’t look good enough. My ex had silky hair, even I have silky hair. You are not good enough. I have so many people wanting to be with me.”
But you know you look great. You love your hair and to eat. They have several flaws and you have several seekers, perhaps even more than they do. But if you have reached level 5 you’ll never answer back. Because you are afraid of losing them, and that is what you are being manipulated on.
They Play Hot and Cold
Sometimes, you will feel like you should let go because you are tired of giving explanations for things that you didn’t do and mistakes that you haven’t made. You don’t want to keep making all the efforts and have some peace. But that is right when the narcissist wont let you go. They might even apologize, tell you that they need you with tears in their eyes and successfully melt your heart only to feel the pleasure of sabotaging you again.
They Change You
A person who loves you will always motivate you and try to sculpt you into the best version of yourself as a person.
But your psycopath lover will try to butcher you into their version of perfection which even they don’t understand. They will find flaws in you, which btw are not even flaws.
But if you partner with them and help along in the process of murdering your own personality, welcome to level 6. 🙂
By now, they have killed most of what you used to be on the inside. Their frequent tantrums, lies, manipulations have made you insane to a great extent. You probably answer back to something that they say this time because you are tired of saving the relationship. You are still vulnerable, but tired of everything. When you answer back, it ends. Because they know that that they have sucked all energy out of you and very soon you’ll hear of this person’s next deactivate his/her social media.
The person is gone but you are left with PTSD. Level 7 clear. You win. But the prize was your own destruction.
Just how a kid grows up and learns things, you will have to give time, some time to heal yourself.
Mostly the emotional system shuts down after experiencing things like that but do things that feel some sort of good deep down. The emotions will come back gradually. Do not blame yourself or anybody else. That wastes time. Build your personality back and emerge as a wiser, mature person with a newer perspective. Do not hold any of their darkness in you in the form of grudges. Time heals everything.
The intent of writing this article is to help somebody figure out if they are being abused by a narcissist. The earlier you realize this and leave them, the lesser you’ll suffer later.
I hope this article provides some insight to a person who needs it and helps them to take an informed decision.
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*Copyright © 2018 Millie (All Rights Reserved)